Amok Time
by Aviv b
Summary: an alien capture goes terribly wrong.


**Summary: An alien capture goes wrong. Rating: **R/NC-17****

**A/N: Written for Cliche Fest on LJ. **I used the randomizer and utilized the first five clichés. (Iron Troper Pentathalon). Some bonus clichés/tropes from a certain TV show sprinkled throughout. Cliché list at the end.

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><p>The Team drove back to the Hub in silence. Jack didn't have the energy to speak. Gwen looked embarrassed. Owen was asleep. Tosh and Ianto were both lost in their own thoughts.<p>

A good sized blip on the rift detector had taken them out to one of their least favorite places. Brecon Beacons. No cannibals this time around, thank goodness for that, rather a crash landed alien ship piloted by two furry creatures looking suspiciously like Ewoks. They stood together just outside their craft with looks of terror on their faces.

Jack tried to communicate with them in Galactic Standard and then in a half dozen other alien languages that he was versed in. The aliens did not respond, just continued to stare at the team.

Finally Gwen had a brilliant idea. Channeling her best Princess Leia, she stepped forward. "Don't be scared, I'm not going to hurt you," she said holding out her hands to show they were empty.

**BOOM!**

The aliens had blown themselves up along with their ship. Burning metal and Ewok fur combined to create a hideous stench. The team found themselves coughing and choking as the ship quickly burned down to ashes.

"They're dead Ji…Captain," Owen remarked as he coughed to clear the tang of burning metal from his throat.

"Gwen, what the hell were you thinking," Jack yelled, throwing his coat at her in disgust.

"It worked in the movie, and it's not like you had any better ideas," she said picking up the coat and clutching it against her protectively.

"Go and get the SUV Gwen. **NOW**," Jack roared.

Ianto stared at them dumbfounded, and more than a bit aroused. Jack noticed that Ianto was shaking as well.

"Are you alright," he said as he walked over and put a hand on Ianto's arm.

Ianto's face transformed into pure fear. "Oh Captain," he said moving close to him, "I'm so very frightened."

"That's the way they want you to feel," Jack replied looking a bit puzzled at the words had just uttered.

"I know it, but I wish I could stop trembling."

"I'll protect you," Jack said putting his arms around Ianto and kissing him deeply.

Meanwhile, Owen had fallen to the ground and was groaning. "What's happening to me?"

"So, it has come. It is pon far," Tosh said kneeling beside him.

"Pon far, what the hell is pon far?"

"Do you trust me," Tosh said beginning to unzipping Owen's jeans with one hand and making weird movements over his arm with her other one.

"Hell yes," Owen said breaking into a grin.

Back at the van, Gwen felt a rush of confused emotions. She knew she had screwed up and felt guilty, and she was angry that Jack had called her out in front of the others, but mostly she felt very turned on. She lifted the coat to her face and groaned. That smell, it was intoxicating. She put the coat on and could resist touching her breasts. She felt her nipples harden and it was all she could do to not dry hump the coat against the side of the van.

She just managed to get into the darkened back of the van before she felt an uncontrollable urge. Without a second thought she undid the buttons on her slacks and slipped her hand inside.

Meanwhile, Jack had just finished giving Ianto a quick blow job when he spotted Tosh and Owen. Tosh was riding Owen; her head was thrown back in ecstasy. Owen looked pretty pleased as well. Once they had finished, Tosh rolled off Owen and lay moaning in the grass.

"Me next!" Jack cried as he tried to mount Owen. Owen pushed him away. "I'm a doctor, not a porn star," he cried. Then he noticed Jack's erection. "And as your doctor, I'm taking a closer look at that," he said before leaning down to take Jack in his mouth.

A few moments later, Tosh tried the same move with Ianto who shook his head sadly, "I cannot change the law of physics. I've got to have thirty minutes. Dilithium crystals need time to recharge." Fortunately, Tosh was able to recharge Ianto in less than fifteen.

At some point, Gwen stumbled back from the SUV to see her four teammates writhing together in various positions.

Ianto spotted her. "She's got the coat," he cried as he reached up and dragged her into the group. She felt hands and tongues exploring her and willingly reciprocated. The orgy seemed to last for hours culminating in a simultaneous group orgasm.

Hours later, the team woke up feeling a bit hung over and delightfully sore. As they walked back to the SUV no one said a word. The silence continued as Ianto drove, each of them replaying the afternoon in their minds.

"_Ianto was amazing,"_ Gwen mused. _"Who would have guessed?"_

"_Now that's what a call a successful team exercise," _Jack thought happily.

"_Did I really let Ianto and Jack and have a go at me at the same time?" _Owen wondered and then smiled when he realized that it had been Ianto, Jack and Gwen. He sighed contentedly and promptly fell asleep.

Ianto spotted Tosh's reflection in the windshield. She was staring at her mobile, transfixed.

"_Oh Tosh, don't waste your time trying to figure out what happened. This is Torchwood and sometimes you just have to go with the flow."_

As Tosh continued to stare at her phone, Ianto finally broke the silence. "Well there's one good thing. At least we won't have been recorded on CCTV."

"That's something anyway," Tosh smiled and turned off her mobile. _"Good thing I was able to activate this in time. The video from this mobile isn't half bad,"_ she smirked with satisfaction.

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><p><strong>Clichés:<strong>  
><strong>Aliens made them do it<br>CCTV  
>pon far<br>hallucinations which are caused by aliens or other influences  
>the coat<strong>

**Bonus cliches from - Star Trek (various incarnations)**


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